Yes, this is a rip off of How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days, and no, I can’t feature shirtless Matthew McConaughey. But I can tell you 10 querying mistakes that will make you lose an agent’s attention. Are these universal for all agents? Not a chance. These are just “icks” I’ve heard from listening to a lot of podcasts and interviews with agents. A few of them are mistakes I’ve made myself…oops. But hey! We can always course correct and keep going, right?

Way #1: The Over-Confident Query

You’ve written a book, and you’re obsessed with it. As you should be! Your brain made a baby, and that baby is filled with interesting characters, an intriguing plot, and an immersive setting…figuratively. I hope no one is stuffing actual babies with those things. But the point is, you are proud of your book.

But sometimes this pride can translate into a little too much confidence in the query letter. And believe me, agents are very sensitive to this, understandably. Imagine getting over 100 queries a week, and every one of them claims their book is the next Twilight or Lord of the Rings. Or having every third query start with “I know you read a lot of books, but this one is special.” They don’t care. Let your book and pitch speak for themselves. Your job is to show you can follow industry standards and be professional.

Now I know a lot of people are probably thinking “duh”. But the sneakier version of this is a lot easier to fall into. Let me give you an example. For the longest time, my query letters started with “I noticed your MSWL included ____ and ____. As such, I believe my manuscript would be a great fit for your list.” Seems harmless, right? Well, imagine my horror when I heard an agent on a podcast say “I hate when query letters start with authors saying they’ll be a good fit for my list. You don’t know my list, so don’t assume. Just tell me what you have to offer and I’ll decide if it’s a good fit.” That’s paraphrasing, but you get the point. Now, not all agents will feel this way. But regardless, steer clear of anything that could come off as cocky or presumptuous!

Way #2: The Under-Confident Query

This sin can be just as detrimental. You don’t want to oversell yourself, but you also don’t want to sound like you have no faith in your book. The obvious version of this is, “I was wondering, if you have the time, could you please, maybe, take a look at my book?” Not that I think anyone is actually querying like that. The more common version is using too many wishy-washy words in your queries. These include “possibly”, “might”, “could be”, etc.

For example, when describing your genre, don’t say “This could be described as a speculative fantasy with a dark twist.” Is it speculative fantasy or not? Instead say “My manuscript is a speculative fantasy with a dark twist.” How much stronger does that sound?

I know balancing under-confidence and over-confidence can seem like an impossible game, but when you find that perfect in-between, the tone of your query will shine, making it that much more sparkly in an agent’s inbox!

Way #3: The Multi-Genre Query

This one is particularly tricky, especially if you’ve written a whole manuscript that doesn’t seem to fit into one genre. Don’t panic. Genre benders are really popular right now. But even if your book falls into multiple genres, pick the two most prominent and own up to them. If there’s one that encompasses all aspects of your amazing novel, then stick with it. An agent wants to know exactly what editors to pitch your manuscript too, and that decision is based on the genres those editors represent. So if you pitch your book as “a sci-fi, fantasy, thriller with a lot of comedy and a great romance” they’ll have no clue what to do with it. Let me be clear, it’s fine if your manuscript has all those things, but pick one or two that are the most prominent and lean into them. A “comedy-thriller” is a lot more hooky than a mashup of five different genres.

Way #4: The Query with the Wrong Comps

In my humble opinion, comps are the most important aspect of a query, and the hardest to get right. It can be really stressful to find that magic combo of comparable titles that will make an agent go “I wanna read that.” Because of this, a lot of people jump the gun. They think “My book is a mystery, so I’ll just comp the most popular mystery I know.” And then they proceed to compare their manuscript to a book with an entirely different setting, main character, and writing style. This can leave agents frustrated when they open up your pages, eager to read something similar to One of Us is Lying, only to find something much more literary, set in an entirely different time period. So repeat after me: RESEARCH YOUR COMPS.

Way #5: The “That’s A Lot of Words” Query

Please don’t come at me for this. I know, I know. We all hate cutting words and trying to fit our story into specified boundaries. But there’s a reason why “Kill Your Darlings” is such a common phrase. The fact is, more words means more pages, and more pages cost more money, which equals a greater risk. Most agents won’t even consider manuscripts over 100k words. Some won’t consider anything over 95k, because they want room to add edits if the book needs it. Every genre varies, but I know for many YA and Adult books, 80k-90k is the magic zone, with a little less and a little more being totally acceptable. Generally, agents are more forgiving when manuscripts fall under that range than over it. So if your wordcount is way over 90k, consider trimming. Please. Don’t hate me.

Way #6: The Vague Query

What more can I say here except BE SPECIFIC. Actually this one takes a lot of work, so I will say more. This applies to the blurb you include about your book. Yes, you should still keep some of the mystery in the blurb, but you’d be surprised how much you can share without giving it all away. What I mean is, if you have a sentence in your blurb that reads, “But Molly has a secret that could ruin everything,” agents will be asking “What’s the secret? Why does it ruin everything? What does everything even mean?” Instead, say “Molly had an affair four years ago and never told her husband. If he finds out, he’d leave and take the kids with him.” Now they get it. Now they can see the stakes.

So here’s what I want you to do. Read through every word of your query letter and think “Could this be more specific? Is this leading to questions that an agent would want answers to?” If the answer is yes, dig deeper. That being said, there should be one question that an agent yearns to have answered by the end of the query (yes I know I said yearn and it’s kind of a gross word). That question is “What will happen next?”

Way #7: The Looooonggg Query

The problem a lot of authors have with being specific is inflating the length of their query. Which is a valid concern. The longest a query should ever be is 350 words. I know some of you are screaming right now and I’m sorry. Some agents even say 300 at most. I once submitted via a form on an agency’s website that only allowed 250 words for the query. Like come on. Was that necessary. Really.

But, I will say, every time I revised my query letter to shorten the wordcount, it got stronger. Often times you can use fewer, more powerful words to replace a lot of little weak words. And you won’t regret it, because if an agent opens your email and sees a query that’s two pages long, they’ll probably be too overwhelmed to understand the premise of your plot.

Way #8: The Boring Query

I’ve talked about this before, but your query letter should include the absolute best, most intriguing aspects of your plot. If you were to cook for a professional chef, would you use the blandest foods in your pantry? No. So don’t give a publishing industry professional a big slop of bland sentences. Instead of including your character’s patriarchal lineage, and the oath her great grandfather made, include the fact that she murdered someone to save her family, and is now on the run from the man she’s always loved. That’s the juicy stuff. That’s the garlic and onion and whatever the hell else people use to spice up a dish (I’m not a chef, I’m a writer, obviously).

The reality is, with how many queries agents get, they only have time to speed read them. That means they are scanning for the best, most intriguing words. If they were to only look at the five most interesting words in your query, would those be enough to grab their attention?

Way #9: The Query with A Lot Going On

I see this a lot with SF and fantasy queries. There is, naturally, a lot of world building in these genres and it can be so hard to get all of it across in a query letter, especially when the specific mechanics of the world are integral to the plot. Often, authors weigh down their query letter with so many world-specific words and so much convoluted backstory, the main plot is totally lost. But here’s the thing. Less is actually more in 99% of these situations. The core part of great sci-fi and fantasy is how it connects to humanity and the things we experience in our everyday, grounded world.

So while a unique magic system or a terrifying space monster are still great things to mention in your query letter, your main focus should still be on the very “human” plot behind it all. Give me the feelings. The betrayal. The motivations. And weave the world-building in between with language that someone could understand with a quick glance. Cause that’s all you’re gonna get.

Way #10: The Query Sent to the Wrong Agent

I hesitate to even include this one because it’s so obvious, but please triple check the name at the top of the query letter. There is no more mortifying feeling than sending off a query, then realizing you sent it to someone different than you originally thought.

And I know for a fact you’ve heard this before, but personalize each query. Instead of sending out a mass email to 50 different agents, include a brief sentence or two at the top of each query that gives your reason for querying that agent in particular. The best way to do this is by researching the other clients the agent represents and referencing their work in some way. When an agent is skimming through their overflowing inbox, nothing catches their eye more than seeing the name of authors or books they represent.

That being said, if you don’t have any sort of connection with books they represent, it’s also useful to reference a book, author, or specific trope they mentioned in their MSWL. Really anything to show you did your research. And that’s the other thing. DO YOUR RESEARCH. Make sure the agent you’re querying represents the genre you write. I know this seems obvious, but I’ve heard a lot of agents say they receive dozens of queries a day for genres they don’t represent.

A Side Note

These are just the things that can turn an agent off in the query letter. Opening pages are a whole other beast that I’ll tackle another day.

As I said, this is not an extensive list, and all of these don’t apply to every agent. But I’ve taken every “ick” I’ve ever heard and compiled them into one place. Now, please don’t beat yourself up if you’ve done one, or two, or all of these. So have I. So have many published, successful authors. Querying is a learning process, and no one is there to hand you a manual after you finish your manuscript.

And the truth is, agents are human too and often far more patient than we give them credit for (or at least the good ones are).

What about you? What query mistakes have you made? Did I miss any? Let me know in the comments.

Thanks for reading and, as always, stay spooky.

Want to read a psychological horror retelling of Sleeping Beauty? Subscribe to my monthly newsletter with the button at the top, and So Familiar A Gleam will automatically be sent to you!